1. |
damn
04:21
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the year started at the back of a train of thought
facing the elevator
in an awkward way
everyone drunk off of their faces, just singing our praises
wanting in on the magic, say midnight on the second floor counting
while you were in the corner joking about
how it would be your last
when we were outside having a smoke
i heard you asking around hey, could you find me some coke
every year is just a little bit darker
then the darker gets darker
then it's dark as hell
by now you don't need a good reason
you climb up the highest of the trees and
you laughed yourself clean
yeah you laughed yourself clean
back inside where the party had started
eyes shut, feet quick, really feeling ecstatic
feelings come then they go someplace
little high big lows in any case
a good friend is a good friend, no doubt
but sometimes a good friend ain’t enough to grab ya and pull you out
damn the work, damn the music
damn the fun that's missing
damn the drugs, damn the friends
damn the phone that's ringing
damn the night, damn the party
damn the song that’s spinning and trying to lift us up
but it only drags us down
the year started at the back of a train of thought
facing the elevator
in an awkward way made a call from the side room
hey ma, can i come home soon?
i’m lying on the floor in the bathroom
i’ve had it with this place, we're all going insane
i’ve had it with this place well you've been feeling lost now
living in the background
hanging with a rough crowd
thinking of the times you had it all figured out
now everyone is passed out
blurry on the edge now
empty as an effigy waiting to come down
i’ve had it with this place
we're all going insane
i’ve had it with this place
we’ve all gone insane
damn the work, damn the music
damn the fun that's missing
damn the drugs, damn the friends
damn the phone that's ringing
damn the night, damn the party
damn the song that's spinning
damn the room, damn the street, damn the scene listening
damn the home, damn the dog
damn the planet watching
damn the mood, damn the people
damn the door that’s closing
damn the time, damn the ride
damn the drive that’s missing
damn the home, damn the dog
damn the life that’s winning
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2. |
can't stop me from dying
03:09
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i wake up
in the morning
i go out
come back in
i have died
a thousand times
i will die
once again
i wake up
in the morning
i go out
with my friends
to a bar
it’s the weekend
and it just
doesn’t end
i stay out
till 5 am
and it’s light
when I leave
i go out
and pack my stuff
cause I'm dying
once again
nothing in the world will stop me from dying I swear
nothing in the world will stop me from dying I swear
i wake up
i get dressed
find someone
in my bed
she is naked
as a jaybird
i'm in love
with my neighbourhood
overslept
my life away
got a tune
in my head
it repeats
the chorus
again and again
nothing in the world can stop me from dying again
nothing in the world can stop me from dying again
nothing in the world could stop I swear
nothing in the world can stop me from dying again
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3. |
oranges
04:54
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if you see mary would you tell her not to worry
it does get easier with every passing day
the humming of the ash trees
stains of fallen leaves on the concrete
ain't nothing here that don't remind me
you'll likely see mary still reeling from some kind of scary disease
will you remind her that she can always remember the sweeter days of
wild oranges every night
cigarettes and red wine
hanging on the landing
leaning on the door frame
dreaming of you in every room
if you see mary hanging on the corner in her raspberry coat
with the wind brushing past as if on a boat
with motes gleaming along the shore
the dogs in heat
city parks in the daytime /
the revving of the motor bikes in the night
your bed positioned so the sun rises to your left
and a bible of sorts lies to your right
songs of inexperience
and anything that ever is and was
i didn't know much
like i know now
but i still can't seem to tell her myself
wild oranges every night
cigarettes and red wine
kitty on the bed
work at your desk
hanging on the landing
leaning on the door frame
talking in circles till it’s light
out of our minds
wild oranges every night
cigarettes and red wine
kitty on the bed
work at your desk
hanging on the landing
leaning on the door frame
wild oranges every night
cigarettes and red wine
it’s not what we didn’t do
as much as we did
you were wearing it around your neck
when you entered the room
and i kept it when you left
and i kept it when you left
and i kept it when you left
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4. |
partner
03:45
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still reeling from last night's activities
too many friends, too much wine
and this cab is moving too slowly down parc avenue
it’s 3 pm, paris time
still feeling some kind of magic
didn't sleep at all last night
stayed up and watched her move
in her green dress and ivory shoes
now you see it coming now you see it now
you cannot even imagine what it feels like
better now than never to know the back of your head
was i only a friend
that’s who i am that’s who i am
every road we walk leads to a dead-end
full of lovers just loving you until the end
full of lovers just loving you until you’re dead
you’re the last person i thought i’d see at this party, here tonight
but you spoke it in such a way
there was no knowing what you really meant to say
the cab lets me off at the diner just for memory’s sake
and i sit at the same booth with tears in my eyes begging
won't you admit you’re giving up on me too quick
last year you were sitting in the diner with neon lights shining and back at our place a breakdown that was happening
baby got the blues so bad that she’s crying and making a show to her friends on the phone
crawling in the kitchen
pup and cat watching
dragging my face on the tiles that were matching
the blue of her dress
the makeup that is running
you know it’s just my way of saying i regret things
driving through the city
speeding over 50
calling just to hear you say that you still love me
the music on the radio
playing our favourite song to show you everything’s connected
and she is a dancer with no partner
that’s what they call her
now you see it coming now you see it now you
cannot even imagine what it feels like
better now than never to know the back of your head
was i only a friend? that’s who i am that’s who i am
every road we walk leads to a dead-end
full of lovers just loving you until the end
full of lovers just loving you until you’re dead
she’s a dancer with no partner
that’s what they call her
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5. |
saltspring
04:23
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you called me to tell me that you missed the last ferry
heading to saltspring but that i needn't worry
you’d be on the first one come the morning
slept on the beach, in the cold, missing me
the dark was getting louder
you tried to start a fire
rubbed two sticks together for hours
years gone by
very proustian, this passage of time
well i just found the letter dated august 2nd
the one you sent that summer saying this is how you see it
we’re either growing apart or growing together
you set out in the morning and went deep into the country
.22 slung over your back and then you shot a bunny
and where the hell’d you get a .22
before i moved you called me,
said you’d be out west and likely wouldn't be returning,
that things were getting busy
but you’d come and visit once i’d settled into the city
years gone by
very proustian, this passage of time
well i just found the letter dated august 2nd
the one you sent that summer saying this is how you see it
we’re either growing apart or growing together
of all the days i remember with fondness
there is one that i am eager to forget
that’s why i'm here on this very same island
to see if our names are still written in the sand
i just found the letter dated august 2nd
the one you sent that summer saying this is how you see it
we’re either growing apart or growing together
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6. |
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7. |
my love 4 u is real
04:31
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come to me as you did then
my innocuous and redeemable friend
and i know this much is true
that the nights would always cut us through and through
in the mornings when i’d waltz into the room with my arms out wide
come to me, yes, come to me
come as a bride
my love for you is real
not like other love
that hangs there half dead
always taking something from behind your back
ya my love for you is real
not like other love
and i wanted so badly for you to feel it like i did
like i did
like i did
come to me as you did then
hand in hand up the cathedral steps
where we heard the wedding band
foreshadowing something tragic something mad
the room went spinning
bells were ringing
bride and groom and ornate gowns
all is forgiven in time
all is forgotten in time
and when the music did stop
i heard an answer
my love for you is real
not like other love
that hangs there half-dead
always taking something from behind your back
and my love for you is real
not like other love
and i wanted so badly for you to feel it
my love for you is real
not like other love
that hangs there half-dead
always taking something from behind your back
my love for you is real
not like any other love
and i wanted so badly for you to feel it like i did
like i did
like i did
like i did
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8. |
backyard
02:56
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there is something to be said
about growing up in the neighbourhood
and then staying in that neighbourhood
even when you finally could leave and explore other places near or far
but you chose to stay in the place you grew up
when i told you we could touch the stars and map the world in my backyard
your eyes lit up like something sparked a memory
spooky stuff like prick your hand and make a bet
and then we can interweave our magic together
and the blood dripping from the heart of our palms
you said the stars couldn't leave our backyards for as long as we'd ask them to stay
and they stayed and they stayed
there is something to be said
about how we neglect
the things that are right in front of us every moment
for the promise of something better
far away
is more about imagination than of escape
we ran upstairs cut our hair lighting candles
singing prayers
making up a call to hail mary
the gate that separates the gardens hardened as the years drove on
making it impossible to open
with the blood dripping from the heart of our palms
you said the stars couldn't leave our backyards for as long as we'd ask them to stay
and they stayed and they stayed
stars wouldn't leave our backyards for as long as we'd ask them to stay
and they stayed and they stayed
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9. |
writer in ny
03:19
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nowhere i’ve been have i seen such a beautiful face
long and hardened, with an aquiline nose
shaped like a mermaid on a rock
just waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting for the shoe to drop
nowhere i’ve been have i seen such a beautiful face
soft and plump, just like a baby
cause nothing’s gonna bring me down
if i never had it anyway
i’ll be a writer in ny
winter in la
cause nothing’s gonna bring me down
if i never had it anyway
i’ll be a writer in ny
winter in la
nowhere i’ve been have i seen such a difficult scene
yet we jumped in headfirst, nosediving
cause nothing’s gonna bring me down
if i never had it anyway
i'll be a writer in ny
winter in la
meet me in the park when it’s dark outside
with a book in hand and a bottle of white
we’ll talk about it all night
meet me in the park when it’s dark outside
with a book in hand and a bottle of white
we’ll talk about it all night
cause nothing’s gonna bring me down
if i never had it anyway
i'll be a writer in ny
winter in la
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10. |
violence
04:26
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you can have your anger
your rage, you can keep that too
the books on the nightstand
they’re yours to get through
keep everything you want
that’s where we stand
in the corner of the room
where all my stuff is crammed
i'm flying out of here, tonight
like a butterfly
and i'm keeping in mind
you’ll be chasing behind
slam your fist on the desk
raise your arm in a fit
the violence that you cast
does nobody any justice
lock me inside the house
hide my keys in your pocket
no, this isn't the worst you have done, if i am being honest
i'm flying out of here, tonight
like a butterfly
and i'm keeping in mind
you’ll be chasing behind
i'm getting out of here, tonight
it’s happening for real
i’ll be driving the car back to my own house
i'll be leaving everything
i own in your hell
if there’s one thing i’ve learned
there’s a term called resilience
and i hope to recognize it next time
in the face of violence
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11. |
hurt
03:31
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i could say it or say nothing at all
take a walk or take none at all
get on a bus back to montreal
make a plan or plan nothing all
i could make it there fast
i could make it there slow
but silence is a shadow
when it is swallowed whole
now i’m on the 97 going west
home, to my parents
thinking of moving back in the fall
cause i’m going mad in the apartment
I could make it there fast
i could make it there slow
i'm not being dramatic
or dark in tone when I say
somebody hurt me badly
now i’m stuck in a rut
now i’m going crazy
somebody hurt me badly
now i’m stuck in a rut
now i don’t know my body
i could say it or say nothing at all
take a walk or take none at all
get on a bus back to montreal
tell my friends or say nothing at all
i could make it there fast
i could make it there slow
i could take my time
and i’m not lying
when i say
somebody hurt me badly
now i’m stuck in a rut
now i’m going crazy
somebody hurt me badly
now i’m stuck in a rut
now i don’t know my body
somebody hurt me badly
now i’m stuck in a rut
now i’m going crazy
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